


To Love and To Kill

by Slashypotterness



Series: A Love Worth Killing For [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27990603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slashypotterness/pseuds/Slashypotterness
Summary: All Regulus wants is to be with James. All James wants is to be with Regulus. Both of them are willing to give up everything. But love is more than just wanting to be with another person...it's sacrifice. This is a drabble that goes along with a video, neither of which, makes sense without the other.Please pay attention to the warnings. Nothing is graphic or even out right stated, but the implication is still very much present.
Relationships: Regulus Black/Bartemius Crouch Jr., Regulus Black/James Potter
Series: A Love Worth Killing For [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2050071
Kudos: 26





	To Love and To Kill

~May 1976~

Regulus would never like James too-fuckin-good-for-a-bloody-comb Potter.  
Why should he?  
Just because they hooked up once in the Slytherin Quidditch locker room….

Three times in the Gryffindor locker room.  
Five times in the Come and Go room.  
Twice in an empty Potion’s classroom.  
Four times in a broom cupboard  
And one awkward time that led to Regulus almost being impaled by a broomstick?

Hell no! He didn’t like James Potter, and he never would.  
Why should he?  
Just because he looks at him with those doe-like hazel eyes….

Looks at him like a person, not a tool—like his parents do.  
Looks at him like a friend, not an annoyance—like his brother did when he still looked at him.  
Looks at him like he never wants to lead—instead of leaving like everyone else.

No, he didn’t like James Potter—he loved him.  
But he will never tell him.  
Why should he?  
Just because it might be the last chance he ever gets to speak to him…

Because once James walks through Hogwarts doors one last time, he’ll forget about Regulus.  
Because Regulus doesn’t want to be forgotten about.  
Because Regulus needed James.

No. Regulus would never tell James that he loved him. 

Because it didn’t matter…

~August 1977~

James tells Regulus that he loves him.  
He tells him so often that Regulus is starting to believe it. 

James insists that they shouldn’t hide their relationship.  
He says that if they are going to work better than they did last year, they can’t be sneaking around in the corners.

Regulus wants it to work.  
For a brief moment, he contemplated cutting off his left arm. 

James doesn’t know what is burned into Regulus’s flesh.

Regulus doesn’t think he’d stay if he did….

~October 1977~  
Regulus was right. 

James left. 

He claimed that it was because Regulus had lied to him, but they both knew that, itself, was a lie…. 

James would have left regardless.

Regulus was a Death Eater 

James was a member Order member.

Even those two things could co-exist in some way, Regulus was everything that James hated. 

Regulus was everything that he hated as well….

~June 1977~  
Barty Crouch Junior has daddy issue.  
It is obvious. 

He didn’t join the Death Eaters because he believed in the cause.  
He joined because the cause was the antithesis of everything Crouch Senior stood for.

Regulus wasn’t sure if that was a worse or better reason to join than his own…

Barty Crouch Junior thought Regulus was attractive.  
He was obviously accustomed to getting what he wanted.

Regulus let him have it. 

~August 1977~  
Regulus didn’t have any human friend…  
But he did have Kreacher, and the Dark Lord had hurt him.  
Tried to kill him.

Regulus wasn’t sure if being horrified about what the Dark Lord did to Kreacher and apathetic about what he does the Muggles made him a better or worse person than he was yesterday…

But Regulus wasn’t going to do nothing anymore. 

~October 1, 1977~  
The Dark Lord cannot die.  
That knowledge makes Regulus want to die. 

~October 3, 1977~  
The Dark Lord has planned an attack on the Order.  
That knowledge makes Regulus want to kill—  
Because James and Sirius are part of the Order.

Unlike the Dark Lord—

They CAN die….

~October 5, 1977~  
Regulus’s Dark Mark is burning.  
He ignores it.

~October 7, 1977~  
Regulus’s Dark Mark is burning again. 

Again, he ignores it…

His father looks at him with suspicion.  
His mother with concern. 

Regulus ignores them too….

~October 13, 1977~  
Barty comes to Grimmauld Place.  
Regulus hadn’t seen him since the summer.  
He looks different.

Madder…

He was still accustomed to getting what he wanted.  
This time Regulus didn’t have to let him have it.

He took it… 

~October 14, 1977~  
Regulus would never stop loving James.  
Why should he?  
Just because they were never going to get their happy ever after.

Regulus loved James.  
And he took his last breath, knowing that James loves him too…


End file.
